Love of Four Seasons
by Hanayuki Shizuka
Summary: last autumn Tezuka finally admitted his love for Fuji, but four seasons later, Tezuka wanted out. Autumn, a season of golden memory of the past, the oncehavebeen and the lost love. oneshot TezuFuji


Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

**Autumn**

**Author's POV**

Underneath the long stretch of trees, leaves which had lived to their fullest laid in glory at the feet of their mothers. Silent and gentle winds swept pass them, lifting them, and with the hum of the cold winds, the leaves danced with all the grace of a well-bred lady. For a moment, the whole path had become a ballroom filled with flecks of gold waltzing in mellow abandonment.

The trees bowed in reverence, to the wind or perhaps to the young boy who had graced their fading beauty with his serene exquisiteness. He glided, his steps so graceful it would make a grand duchess cry in shame. He brushed his russet hair from his face, without the strands of hair dancing across his fine features, his delicacy was unhindered and it was breath-taking.

His petite frame seemed like an elusive flower parading amongst the golden paradise. He was beautiful, he was the Tensai, he was perfect, and he was Fuji Syuusuke.

Standing against the wind, he shivered, his eyes were serious and he looked almost desperately around for someone. His heart wrenched, he shivered again, not because of the cold, but in disappointment. The one he had always been waiting for wasn't here.

Another boy was standing behind an old and proud tree. He had been there, always, whenever Fuji had asked to meet him, but Fuji had always looked forward, never behind. If once, just once, Fuji had turned behind, he would see him; the one Fuji had always waited, always looking for.

He wanted to call out, wanted to see Fuji turned and see his face lit up with surprise, but he knew that it would never happen. Because he was afraid, afraid to admit to himself and Fuji that he had always love him back, always been there for him. He couldn't do that, he was too proud, he was too cool, and he was Tezuka Kunimitsu.

**Fuji's POV**

He walked, and walked, he knew, he always knew. Tezuka had always been hiding behind. His presence was unmistakable. But Fuji didn't want to turn, no; he had made the first step in asking him out, repeatedly, it would be only fair that Tezuka take the next. That was what Fuji thought the first few times when he had waited in the park. But today, he didn't want to wait more. Since summer, he had waited for Tezuka to appear on his own accord, but he was put down again and again. And today, he didn't want to wait no more. He had enough. If he must be the first to give in, he would, his love for Tezuka was too intense for such petty stubbornness.

He turned, for his love, for a new chance, and for the last autumn he is willing to wait for Tezuka.

**Tezuka's POV**

He was turning, Tezuka wanted to hide. He wanted to hide from the knowing look, from the love he knew would be shining bright in Fuji's cobalt eyes. But the one thing he wanted to hide from forever was the pain in Fuji's eyes, the pain from waiting for Tezuka.

He took a step back. He wanted to go behind the solid and sturdy tree which had always been his haven from all the hope and love Fuji had pinned on him. But all the hiding he had been doing lately had came back to haunt him. He did not want to see Fuji's pain and disappointment. He stood, slightly shaken. It was going to be now, or never.

Fuji wasn't smiling. Whenever Tezuka had 'missed' their meetings, Fuji would always smile and pretended that he was fine and would smile at Tezuka as if there was nothing wrong between them. Now that Tezuka had stop hiding, Fuji was angry!

**Author's POV**

Fuji stumbled towards Tezuka; his steps were faltering, and as if he was afraid Tezuka would disappear. He was afraid that it would be but a dream. But as he reached Tezuka, as he stood trembling in front of Tezuka, he could feel Tezuka's face. His skin smooth and unmarked, his warmth, so different from Fuji's, all had shook Fuji.

Tezuka looked tenderly down at Fuji, his eyes finally admitting to Fuji that his love lay in Fuji's hand. He smiled, but was shocked when a tear slipped from Fuji's eyes; it fell onto his hand, scalding him with its pain, with its heat.

"Fuji? Why are you…?"

Tezuka's head was snapped towards the right by the force of the slap. Fingering his throbbing cheek, Tezuka looked mildly at Fuji; he was more bemused than hurt by the slap. And just as sudden, Fuji collapsed into his arms. He closed them around the smaller boy hesitantly, as if his actions might somehow make him fade from his arms.

When his arms are securely around Fuji, he crushed him into a fierce hug. _Fuji, my love, my autumn love. _

**Winter**

**Author's POV**

It was the end of winter. Everything was so white, so pure, just like the love between Fuji and Tezuka. Happy and satisfied about their innocent love, they lived from one day to another, only blissfully aware of one another, and sadly, blissfully unaware of the guardian of Time was now plotting their love's ultimate demise.

Fuji was always the sweet and giving party in their love. He loved being the one to care and comfort Tezuka; he loved being the one to take away Tezuka's stoic mask, and soothed his tired soul. He loved being Fuji Syuusuke, the love of Tezuka Kunimitsu's life.

Tezuka was always the sensible and comprising party in their love. He loved being the one to pull Fuji out of scrapes; he loved being the one to make Fuji smiled with all the happiness in the world. He loved being Tezuka Kunimitsu, the only one in Fuji Syuusuke's life.

And thus, the two loving couple, who lived practically in each other's pockets, went on with their lives, convinced that their love would bear fruit. They would be as happy as they deserved. They would be together forever, but who could define forever, just as who could define love?

The winter passed without event, nothing could break them apart now that they had finally come together. Nothing they thought, but nothing could come as a big surprise, for without nothing, it would be everything. Or put simply, without everything, you would be left with nothing.

**Spring**

**Author's POV**

The birds had finally decided that the days were warm enough to risk a quick flight out to catch the freshest worm from the still cold soil. The trees had not yet regain their lush green leaves, but they were showing promises in shapes of small and frail sprouts. Everything was still a little gray, and seemed soiled, with all the melting snow and pungent and biting winds.

Their school would be starting soon; Tezuka had to pay more attention to his studies, so he had refused three of their dates thus far. Fuji was unhappy, but he knew if the responsible Buchou starts to become irresponsible, he would not be the same. So he let go part of Tezuka, allowing him to go back to his studies.

The school started, and in preparation of the oncoming examinations, Tezuka seemed to be so much busier, so busy, he seemed to be at everywhere at one time, but just never by Fuji's side. Fuji was afraid to ask why, he didn't want to add on to Tezuka's burden, he had never see Tezuka so tired, so listless at times.

Slowly, they drifted apart; their time apart seemed to be so much more than the time they spent together. They didn't realize it, for the drift was so subtle that they didn't and couldn't have noticed. It was until later, when they looked back and realized with a jump at how much they had distanced, but by then, they could not do anything more than prayed that they would not detach more. But even that solemn promise was forgotten, as Fuji's mother was involved in a car accident and Fuji now spent more time in the hospital than in tennis.

**Summer**

**Author's POV**

The air was thick with heat and hummed with the constant songs of bugs. Sweat-matted hair and bodies cool with perspiration rushed along the park. Everything was red, as if burned to a hundred degree Celsius by the summer heat. Any fast movement seemed a waste of energy, and thus all the brisk walking seemed like a hundred mile dash to the rushing workers and students.

Tezuka was wandering down the stretch of trees which were bare only a few months ago, now dressed snuggly with abundant top of leaves. He was bored, Fuji was with his mother again, and he was bored with all the time he had. Fuji, he rolled the name off his tongue. Such a beautiful name, he couldn't believe his good fortune in finding him. He had so much to ask Fuji, and so…little to say to him.

They spent so much of their time apart rather than together. It seemed as if they had become strangers, no longer filled with things to tell one another, and no longer had so much love to whisper to one another. All that was left were a ton of polite questions normal friends would exchange.

Tezuka tried to stop his train of thought, he nearly succeeded, but in the back of his mind he knew that he had thought of this so often for the entire summer now, it was part of memory. He had to admit now, as bravely as before when he confessed his love to Fuji that it was over. Their love had failed the test Time had set for them, failed so badly, they had failed with a capital letter F. They had failed their love.

**Autumn**

**Fuji's POV**

He didn't want to go. Not to the park, not to the same old stretch of trees. He knew that the trees would again be bare; the leaves would again start their yearly waltz with the winds. He knew it was going to end.

For so many months, both he and Tezuka had tried to stay together, tried to hold onto the thin tread of hope that everything would go back to the same. He knew better, but he was too afraid to let go. Their love had become less, it had become a habit.

**Author's POV**

Life, it had always been full of irony. The two most ironic aspects of life had been the most familiar things to us. They say, the only thing constant in life was change, and love was but friendship turn habitual. Wasn't it amusing, what we craved, was but the evolution of the thing which we most feared.

In the very park, Tezuka and Fuji had opened their hearts and allow their souls to become one, in the very spot their love had blossomed, it would end, for it had wither so long ago. It was due to their fear of change, their craving of constant, had they stayed together. It was due to their unwillingness to kick the so-familiar habit, had they held on. But now, when it was so late in the autumn, had they come to terms with the change that had wield itself so firmly between them. They had let their love dies, for they do not have the courage to keep it alive for any longer.

It was the exact replica of the last autumn. The leaves were dancing merrily with the winds, mocking the couple with their happiness. The lone boy standing solidly against the mockery of the leaves and winds was now Tezuka. He was prepared. He was waiting, for Fuji to be ready, ready to move on, just as Tezuka was now.

It was now Fuji who hid behind the tree. He was afraid, fearful of taking the step out. He didn't want to see Tezuka, didn't want to see the certainty in Tezuka's face. He didn't want their love to end. It meant too much, for he waited for Tezuka to come around, now, it was Tezuka who waited for him to come around, about breaking up.

Finally he stepped out, he knew Tezuka like the back of his hand, but now, it no longer seems enough. Their love required more than friendly understanding. It needed passion and hope. He, the great Buchou had not been able to give passion freely, just as he; the Tennis Tensai had not been able to give hope without restraint.

Tezuka didn't turn; he would not ridicule Fuji, not with the action he had made one year ago, with all the love and understanding, which was now sorely lacking in Tezuka. He faced the endless street before him. He could hear Fuji's footsteps, never missing it, always so aware of it as if it were his very own. Now, he could still hear them, but it just didn't fill him with happiness and anticipation of seeing Fuji again. It just, just filled him with emptiness, a painful lack of emotions.

"Kuni…Tezuka, what's wrong?" it seemed no longer appropriate to call Tezuka by the intimate name. Tezuka at last, turned to look at the love he knew he lost so long ago.

"Fuji, look, the sun is setting, and it seems like only a few moments ago, when I just saw the sun rise. Everything changes so fast, it…"

"Tezuka, please stop." Fuji didn't want to hear Tezuka's endless excuses. When they first came together under the autumn trees, they didn't use a single word, now when they were going to part; it seems very redundant to use so many meaningless words, another irony of our cruel lives.

Tezuka looked deep within Fuji's cerulean eyes, he knew, finally what Fuji wanted. As if with loud and clear timing, they turned from one another. Their backs were to one another, another mark of their parting.

They took a step, and then another. Not once, did they look back, they were afraid, if they look back and saw the other's back, they would be hurt again.

"Ja, Tezuka." With that, Fuji raised his slim hand and bid his love farewell.

"Sayonara, Fuji." With that, Tezuka raised his stiff hand and bid his love farewell.

They never turned back, it had been too late now to turn back, not even turning back time could save them from heart ache now, and it was as usual, a step too late.

One heart split into two, each half walked away with all the composure each could summon.

**Fuji's POV**

_Kuni-chan, we walked away from one another for the last time, this time, none of us will turn back, we will continue on this path Fate had given us. This time, we waved to bid farewell, and in the future, I know that we will never wave to one another again, in happiness or greeting. _

A tear slipped pass his cheek, a trail of sorrow and anguish, a sea of despair and regret.

**Tezuka's POV**

_Fuji, nothing used to be between us, but now, everything seems to be. On this street, I pledged my love to you, but now, all I can pledge to you is my blessing and wish for your happiness. In the sea that now separate us, there once lay promises of future, now they are all drowned in the water of distance. Distance we could no longer dismiss with a smile or an apology._

The mask slipped from his face, the haunted expression engraved so deeply into his visage it hurt him right down to his heart.

**Author's POV**

Both continued to walk away from one another. A shower of gold leaves mark their parting, the wind robbed them of hearing the cries that were ripped from their hearts. On this autumn, this ending of summer, the beginning of winter, an intermediate season, Fuji had released Tezuka; he didn't want to keep him bound to him. Yet, his generous act had instead tied himself up with chains of agony and pain.

A little story like this could never hope to cover all the twists and turns in the realm less world of love. But all it could cover was a little twist in Tezuka and Fuji's love, when the fog of love and hurt cleared from their eyes; they had realized that through all this time, they had never questioned their mind, only their heart. Is it fair? No one can decide who is to be the one to sacrifice in the matter of love; no one can force another to give, for it must be given willingly.

The autumn was so cold that year, but that winter, it snowed, only for a night, then it stopped. It was as if the heaven refused to cleanse the world with the purity of snow. No matter how much it snowed, no matter how long it tried to cleanse, the world would remain as it was. Dirty and sad, it had retained love within its soiled embrace.

Tezuka had continued his life; he married and had a complete family. He had for all intents, went on. He forgot his youthful love, but from time to time, he would look out and see the yellowing leaves and something would tug painfully on his heart. He started a love too young, ended it too immaturely. He had broke Fuji, his heart, his soul, and fifteen years ago, on a cold winter night, Fuji had finally gave up his shattered life and succumbed to clean white snow.

_Fuji, gomen ne, watashi…watashiwa gomen ne. Ashiteru Fuji, my love for the four most beautiful seasons I ever had. _


End file.
